Go for what gives meaning to life,
Then prepare yourself for the stress that comes with it.
It’s been a long journey,
20 years worth of strife and love.
20 years of constant moulding, of the person I was to the person I am.
You know what people say,
If I could take it all back, I’d be the same person I am,
Or maybe they don’t actually say that and it’s all in my head.
But truth is, for me, I don’t want that.
If I could get another chance,
I won’t take some of the risks I did,
I won’t say some of the things I said,
Many of the things I did, I wouldn’t do,
I would listen more and talk less,
I would give and love abundantly beyond measure.
I would reach within me and pull out of my deepest recess, more compassion than I have,
But of course, I can’t change that,
I can’t take back time and I certainly can’t remake my choices,
The past is a done deal, dusted too.
The choices I’ve made have made me me, And the paths I have chosen have forged who I am.
Sometimes I go searching for my past,
For the items I’ve discarded along the way. The people.
The friends.
The feelings.
All that and more that have ceased to exist in the life I live now,
And sometimes, they come looking for me. Going back is painful sometimes. But bittersweet mostly.
These were a part of me.
But still, these are strangers to me now.
I’m happy with where I am now,
Happy with who I am and the people I’m with,
But many times I wish I hadn’t made certain decisions or taken certain steps to get here.
I have no wish to be stuck in the bog that is regret, so I look back briefly and walk briskly in the opposite direction.
But I take a bit of it with me. So that in the future, I have a different present from the one I have now.

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